Saturday Night Live reopened with a replica talk show, a device that allows the show to impale a trio of shamed public figures.
This week Ted Cruz (Aidy Bryant), Andrew Cuomo (Pete Davidson) and Gina Carano (Cecily Strong) were guests on a talk show called Opps, You Did It Again, hosted by Britney Spears (Chloe Fineman).
Cruz was at the center of a media fire storm this week after it was revealed that he and his family had flown from Texas to Cancun for a vacation, just like the state was in the middle of an emergency when severe cold weather millions of people without Electricity left.
“You literally gave up [Texas] and flew to Cancun for a family vacation, ”Spears Cruz grilled.
“That’s right. And now I’m in a little bit of hot water that nobody in Texas has,” said Cruz.
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“Would you like to apologize?” Asked Spears.
“Absolutely. I deeply regret my actions over the past few days, most of them fly United,” said Cruz. “I’m sorry, I’m pretty bad at human stuff.”
Spears then asked, “Don’t you see why people call you a coward?”
“Yeah, a coward is actually the nicest word I’ve heard,” said Cruz.
Spears then goes into Cruz’s first explanation of why he went to Cancun: to be a “good father” and to accompany his daughters on their journey.
“Would a coward have the cajons to attribute his actions to his young daughters? You blamed your daughters! ” She asked.
“Oh yes, the whole trip was the girls’ idea. You love Cancun. There is so much to do. The topless beach. Shots at Senor Frogs. Swimming with sick dolphins. They love it.”
Spears then replied, “As someone who was often blamed for others’ problems at a young age – maybe leave out your daughters because it could really mess with their heads.”
The next guest is Cuomo, who has tried to resolve the controversy over how he dealt with care homes during the Covid-19 pandemic. New York State has recognized that the death toll at such facilities has been severely under counted.
“Some of the people who died in nursing homes were not counted as fatalities in nursing homes. They were counted as hospital deaths, which is basically the case at Disney World. People die and they move bodies. They say, “I think Brenda died in the parking lot, not the teacups. So we just did the Disney thing. “
“Don’t you think you should apologize?” Asked Spears.
“Yes,” said Cuomo reluctantly.
“What was that?” Asked Spears.
“I said I was sorry,” he replied.
“You see, that wasn’t that difficult. Bill de Blasio says you should be examined. “
“I would like to bury him in the tallest grave this city has ever seen!” Said Cuomo, slipping back into indignation. “I’m going to hire Rick Moranis a hobo so tough he thinks he’s back in the universal Pre-K! I’m so sorry. I get a little angry every now and then. “
The final guest was Carano, who was fired from The Mandalorian after posting a statement on Instagram comparing Jews beaten in Nazi Germany to the treatment of Conservatives in America.
“I didn’t do anything wrong,” said Carano. “Nobody can explain what I did wrong. Explain it.”
Spears replied: “Okay, you said on Instagram that things are just as bad for conservatives as people who live in Nazi Germany.”
“Okay, congratulations, you explained it. I would never have made this comparison if I had known everyone would be such a Nazi. “
“Do you feel like a victim of the demolition culture?” Asked Spears.
“Absolutely. And I got dismissed from Disney? Disney is the moral stronghold? Have you heard the Br’er Rabbit accent on Splash Mountain recently?”
Cuomo then interrupted: “Well, if you die from it, they will move the body.”